Monday, December 16, 2013

Top 25 B-List Christmas Movies

I decided to make a top 25 list of my favorite Christmas movies that aren't on any of the traditional top Christmas lists, or A-Lists.  The movies on my list aren't great movies and some might be considered awful.  But they seem to be enjoyable at Christmas time.  Sort of like divinity and eggnog.  Here are the movies that are NOT on my list  (don't get me wrong, these are great movies and are really enjoyable to watch any time of the year):


It's a Wonderful Life
Miracle on 34th Street
White Christmas
A Christmas Story
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
A Christmas Carol
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Holiday Inn
Home Alone
Frosty the Snowman
The Santa Clause
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Elf
The Muppet Christmas Crol
Scrooged
Christmas in Connecticut
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Bad Santa
Love, Actually
Die Hard 2 & 2
Lethal Weapon
Gremlins
The Polar Express
The Year Without a Santa Claus

OK..on to the Top 25 B-List Christmas Movies:


25.  The Santa Suit

Hercules (Kevin Sorbo) is a scroogey CEO of a toy company and magically gets transformed into Kris Krandall.

24.  The Christmas Choir


This time its the kid from Iron Eagle (Jason Gedrick) who stars as an emotionally detached accountant who decides to form a choir at a homelss shelter.

23.  Unaccompanied Minors

A group of unaccompanied minors get snowed in at an airport.  Lewis Black is particularily funny in this.

22.  Barney's Night Before Christmas


Granted, this movie probably reminds me of Christmas time when my kids were little, so that is why it made the list.  But it does have some pleasant Christmas music and a well done Santa.

21.  Snowglobe


Christina Milian stars as a woman who discovers a Christmas-themed dreamworld inside a magical snowglobe...which is her escape from less than idyllically viewed family.

20.  While you were sleeping


As far as romantic comedies go, this one isn't bad.  Bill Pullman and Sandara Bullock seem to have great chemistry and there were genuine moments where I laughed out loud.  Peter Boyle and Jack Warden are great characters as well. 

19  Barney's Christmas Star


Well, this is probably on the list for the same reason as number 22.  I do enjoy this one a little bit more.

18.  Jingle All the Way


Is this movie great...no.  Is this movie funny....not all that much (I probably laughed more in 30 seconds of Elf than I did this entire movie).  But hey, its got Arnold, Sinbad, young Darth Vader, and Phil Hartman.

17.  Prancer


Sam Elliott is awesome and believable in this movie and I love that it seems to be genuinely, naturally snowing all the time.

16.  Call Me Mrs. Miracle


Debbie's Macomber's Call Me Mrs. Miracle is actually the second movie staring Mrs. 'Miracle' Merkle (Doris Roberts).  I just seem to care for this movie much more the the James VanderBeek one.  There is a little more to this one than the single guy-single girl formula.

15.  Moonlight and Mistletoe


Tom Arnold is Nick, the proprietor of a failing all-year Christmas village (Santaville) and Candace Cameron is her daughter who reluctantly visits and begins to turn things around for her dad.  This movie features a great smarmy villain that one used to see more in the Christmas movies of the 80s.

14.  The Christmas Card


via IMDB:  "US soldier visits the town from where an inspirational Christmas card was sent to him by a church group that mails cards out to servicemen as a goodwill effort."  It becomes a complicated love story (in a good way) and has some great supporting charactors (Ed Asner, Peter Jason).

13.  Elmo's Christmas Countdown


A very quick, enjoyable movie.  Lots of great music and an impressive guest list.  I found Steve Schirripa and Tony Sirico particuarily funny as Burt and Ernie.  Watch for the farting Charles Blitzen newscaster.

12.  Four Christmases


Talk about an impressive cast (5 Oscar winners).  Unfortunately, this movie just doesn't end up being as funny as you would have hoped.  But it does have its moments.

11.  Christmas with the Kranks


This is another movie that has a great cast and is a movie you would expect to be hilarious...but just doesn't quite deliver.  Lower your expectations and it is a good holiday movie.  Plus its based on a John Grisham novel.

10.  A Season for Miracles


An aunt (Carly Gugino) ends up homeless as she tries to care for her niece and nephew who might get thrown in foster care.  But through the help of an angel, discovers a place that might just be home.  On a side note....how in the hell did Laura Dern end up in this movie with such a small part?!?

9.  Eloise at Christmastime


Apparently this is based on a series of books...but I've never read them.  This movie does seem to capture a little bit of the magic that must be Christmas in New York. 

8.  Christmas with Holly


Just watched this movie.  Once you get "Full House" out of your mind, this is a pretty good movie.  Some genuinely touching moments (and funny ones too).

7.  A Very Brady Christmas


I love how this movie has the exact tone from the TV series.  It has some moments that might be unintentionally funny (spontaneous singing).  All the corny...almost bizarre story lines from the TV show are reflected in this movie.  If the Brady Bunch were real...I have no doubt this is what a Christmas would be like with them.

6.  Ms. Scrooge


I suppose there are a lot of movies based on "A Christmas Carol".  But this one is a favorite.  Ms. Ebenita Scrooge (Cicely Tyson) is a little over-the-top.  But it really has its own message apart from the standard Christmas Carol story.

5.  A Grandpa for Christmas


Ernest Borgnine stars as an old hollywood type that is estranged from his daughter and granddaughter.  But circumstances bring his granddaughter into his live.  I really found Ernest Borgnine, Katherine Helmond, and Julietta Googlia to be phenomenal in this movie.

4.  The Best Christmas Pageant Ever


I remember seeing (and loving) this movie as a kid.  But haven't seen it since.  But thanks to youtube, I was able to see it for the first time in at least 20 years.

3.  A Smoky Mountain Christmas


Dolly Parton stars as a country singer sick of the big city who returns to the Tennessee mountains but encounters some orphans, the Fall Guy (Lee Majors as a mountain man) and a witch.  Watch for a funny John Ritter towards the end.

2.  The Christmas Gift


A widowed architect takes his daughter on a working-Christmas vacation in Colorado where everyone believes in Santa Clause. The movie features Malcolm's mom (Jane Kaczmarek) and Kurtwood Smith.  Gotta love the typical rich snobby 80s villain, Mr. Reffield.

1.  One Magic Christmas


An angel-cowhand Gideon (Harry Dean Stanton) works to help show a mother the true meaning of Christmas.  I love how this movie was definitely NOT filmed in California with some fake snow added here and there.  Definitely looks like a midwestern/Canadian Christmas.  It also has quite possibly the best-done Santa/North Pole I've seen in a movie.